We all have a space that makes us feel safe, for the lucky few this is a person that can hold us until everything gets better. For me, that space is the bathroom, which is why I find myself currently sat on the bathroom floor unable to get up.
I know some people are probably thinking about how disgusting it is because of all the germs and bacteria that are currently in here. It's also one of my many thoughts, my head is buzzing with a million and one different things but I can't find the words to speak. I have so much that I want to say, that I need to say, but I just can't.
We never really plan for the bad things in life which is why when they happens we find ourselves crippled by the hurting that creeps up on us without warning, we are unable to move, unsure how we will manage to go on, so sometimes we just have to stop because at this time it's all we can do. The pain that comes with doing anything else is too much to bear.
It's in these times that some will seek comfort in being surrounded by people, I for one prefer the company of the cold tiles of the floor where nothing is required of me. We live in a world where even when you are completely broken on the inside you are expected to continue the masquerade that everything is perfect and you are expected to go on with your day and smile. Why else would everyone answer the question "how are you?" with an "I'm fine" or "great" because that is what is expected of us.
When things go wrong people always feel the need to tell us that somehow everything will be ok in the end, we want to believe that it will be. I mean it can't hurt like this forever, can it?
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