Losing My Shit...

Ever get to the point where you get so consumed by the world around you and the idea of making a living that you forget to exist in the world and just live? 


Sitting here writing this feels more like I'm venting but in some way I guess that's what blogging is about, saying what you want about something, there's no script to what a person can blog about so that is what I am going to do here. Even then I don't really know where to start but I guess the beginning is the best place for me to start.

Over the last few months I have somehow managed to get myself completely lost... theoretically although there have been moments when I have been actually lost. 

The kind of lost I mean is when you're just forget where you're wanting to go in life, or is that just me? at the age of 19 so many people expect me to have things figured out and honestly I have absolutely nothing figured out, I still live at home with my parents, I'm unemployed and I'm doing my degree, I have a list of a thousand things that I need to do and zero motivation to do any of it. At this point I'm on the brink of a major disaster, if I was older I'd potentially consider this a midlife crisis the only reason I'm not saying that is because it would be rather tragic to think my life is haflway over at this point. 

I just don't have the foggiest of clues as to what's going on, my mind is in over drive and it's not looking pretty right now. When I look at other people they all seem to be going about their day getting on with it as if they know what they're actually doing, me on the other hand I'm just winging it hoping for the best hoping that one day I'll somehow magically figure it out. The most confusing part about all of this is that I'm not actually sure what I'm trying to figure out and the more I think I know the less I actually get. Life right now is like when you skip the introduction to a game that explains how you play the game hoping that you'll be able to pick it up as you go along, I have yet to pick it up and if anyone out there has please let me know becuause I'm a sinking ship. 

 Adult life sucks, I just want to run away, hide, eat pizza and binge on Netflix...