Dear Younger Me

There are a number of things that I wish I could go back and tell younger me, although I'm not that old as it is I'm starting to realise that everything I was worried about at that age really just doesn't matter and life hasn't quite turned out the way I thought it would.

I find that when I talk to people who are older than me they have the same thoughts as me, the other day I was stuck at the train station as my train had been delayed in the end I was sat there for over 2 hours with no way to get home. Usually, I hate it because we live in a world where no-one speaks to each other and you look weird if you try to start a conversation, thankfully a lady that was also waiting for the train started talking to me. 


Talking to her helped me to put things into perspective, lately, it has felt like I have had the entire world against me as nothing had worked out like I had planned, and everything else was just falling apart. She told me about some of the adventures that she has had in life, how when she was my age all of her friends were all married because that was the norm when she was my age, so that what she did she doesn't regret getting married and having her children but she wished that she had travelled more when she was younger, yet at 82 she found herself travelling to new places all the time. lately, it has felt like I have had the entire world against me as nothing had worked out like I had planned, and everything else was just falling apart. She told me about some of the adventures that she has had in life, how when she was my age all of her friends were all married because that was the norm when she was my age, so that what she did she doesn't regret getting married and having her children but she wished that she had travelled more when she was younger, yet at 82 she found herself travelling to new places all the time. 

This got me think when I was 13 I always imagined that by the time I turned 20 I would have everything figured out, that I'd know exactly what I want to do with my life and everything would make sense. Yet here I am 20 years old, still live with my parents in the same little box room I've always been in, unemployed, doing a degree that sometimes I wonder if I'm even capable of doing it; and I have no idea what I want to do in life or where I want to go.

Growing up wasn't the easiest of processes for me, looking at how kids are growing up nowadays it seems like a completely different world. When I was a kid we spent hours playing in the streets and parks, we didn't have iPads, in fact, we didn't even have a computer in my house. 

One thing I wished that someone would have told me is that it's ok, that it's ok to not have anything figured out, it's ok to cry, it's ok if things don't always work out because eventually, they will. When I was younger I lost a friend, over the years I've lost a lot of people, I remember I spent so long telling other people that it's ok that it gets better, but no one ever told me that it was ok.

I feel like its one of those things that people need to hear constantly, I mean we hear about how we're all supposed to trooper on like resilient little soldiers who show no emotion, but that's not always the case, we can't always be fine sometimes we will break and fall apart; but we are far from done and we will pick ourselves up piece by point and one day everything will be ok even when it doesn't seem like it.

So if like me you're out there pretty much drifting out in space hoping that someone will hear you, were al in this together, there are millions of us out there you just have to open your eyes, it's going to be alright. You dont have to have your entire life planned, just take it day by day, youll get there